Tag Archives: identity formation

Blogging as an act of rebellion

Much of who we are is determined by what we do, and that fact unnerves me. While I’m excited at the prospect of a full-time job in the field I love, I’ve entertained the idea that my title, two, three, maybe four words, will usurp my identity — a chaotic mixture of time, phases, values and, of course, my tendency to spontaneously rap the extended “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” theme song.

My blog serves as an act of rebellion, perhaps, as I strive to preserve the erratic nature of my identity in a world that too often requires me to be one thing. For example, it’s tough to be Taylor the journalist and Taylor the life-writer.

I exist simultaneously in two literary realms, each with a different take on truth, time and the projection of identity on the page.

Often, I feel forced to isolate journalist Taylor and life-writer Taylor. When I’m not in need of life-writer Taylor and her knowledge, journalist Taylor steps in, offering a break to the other — a neat, orderly cycle. Yet they clash violently with every word I produce, neither genre ever really winning the battle.

“Weaving.” I keep falling back on that word to explain that my genres, interests, skills, habits and hobbies are inextricable, each contingent on all the others’ existence. It’s a comforting verb, one that reminds me I’m not one thing over another, and I don’t have to declare an identity.

More than ever lately, I find unexpected comfort not in what I know but what I don’t. There’s something reassuring about the turbulent act of identity formation, something that reminds me it’s normal to get it all wrong, go back and try again.

I likewise find comfort in the fact that whatever job I land, whatever title I throw in my Twitter bio, it’s only one part of who I am. Because I’m not about to give up wannabe-rapper Taylor.